Absolutely Debatable Views
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-Absolutely and Absolutely Not!-
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Would you date someone who is in the closet?
Absolutely!
I'd have no problem dating someone in the closet. I can't imagine cheating myself out of a possible relationship or the chance of falling in love with someone I liked just because they prefer privacy. It's nobody else's business when, or if, someone decides to come out and to hold that against them seems unreasonable. It's just one minor detail in comparison to what's really important—like compatibility and personality!
When I was still in the closet, I met a few people who didn't want to date me because I wasn't fully out to my family. Some even tried to convince me to come out—as if dating them was some sort of prize I'd receive for fully opening up my life before I was ready. I was disappointed and felt like I wasn't being given a fair chance. People made their minds up about me without actually getting to know me. I'd never want to do that to someone else or make them feel as hurt as I did.
Coming out can be scary, especially when you're worried you'll face discrimination or possibly even hatred. If someone isn't ready to take that step, I'm okay with that. If I have a connection with someone, I want to give dating that person a shot, no matter how far back in the closet they are. I don't understand why anyone would risk being with Mr. or Mrs. Right just because they want to keep their personal lives...personal.
Absolutely Not!
There's no way I'd date someone in the closet! That'd be a giant step backward. Our community struggled for years to be accepted and treated equally and there are still plenty of people who wish we were all still in the closet. I'm not giving them the satisfaction. I shouldn't have to hide who I am, who I date, or who I love, and if someone wants to be with me, they shouldn't ask me to. I don't want to date anyone who cares more about what others think than they do about me anyway.
I don't think closeted people realize how their secret affects their partner's life. It's unfair to expect us to change our lives to help them hide their truth. Dating someone in the closet would make me feel like I was lying to everyone, including myself, because I'd have to keep our relationship a secret. I'd much rather be able to walk down the street holding my partner's hand without worrying about who might see us.
I'm not saying people should rush to come out before they're ready—I just don't want to date them until they do. I'm glad I'm out of the closet and don't want someone to try to drag me back inside it with them. There are plenty of available people in this world and I only want to be with someone who is out and proud, just like I am.
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