I hadn’t heard the song before so, at first, I didn’t know what my friend was talking about when she texted me to tell me she had just heard a song on the radio that she thought for sure must have been written by me. She was referring to “Somebody That I Used to Know,” by Gotye. Imagine my surprise when I realized the title of the song only differed to the nickname I had coined for my ex-girlfriend by one word. I didn’t call her by her actual name anymore because I didn’t even know who she was. My ex-girlfriend became known as “Someone That I Used to Know,” even in my phone’s list of contacts. Of course, she knew that I referred to her as that and she totally resented it!

It was as if someone had taken my journal and used the words I had written after our break-up to compose a song. The person that I used to know unexpectedly changed on me and dumped me out of the blue because she suddenly became friends with a “cool” new group of lesbians. She was no longer the sweet, thoughtful person I had once known and loved. “Now and then I [thought] of when we were together. Like when [she] said [she] felt so happy she could die." All of that was out the window. Throughout our relationship, I “told myself that [she was] right for me, but I [felt] so lonely in her company." It was like we were “together” in the sense of calling each other “girlfriend." However, we weren’t “together” anymore in a mutually respectful and loving relationship. I was constantly pushed to the side whenever a better offer came her way. I felt like I had to beg and plead for her to spend time with me without the presence of her entourage of friends around all the time. She took me for granted, expected me to be there when it was convenient for her, and made me feel like I was riding solo in our “relationship.”

After we broke up, my ex said that we were definitely going to maintain a friendship and stay in each other’s lives. That was a joke. “[She] said that we would still be friends, but I’ll admit that I was glad that it was over." For some reason, I was devastated when we first broke up because she caught me so off guard. She literally just cut all ties, and that hurt like hell. However, deep down inside I was actually relieved that we weren’t together anymore—I just couldn’t admit it. I felt like I was alone while we were together, so breaking-up just confirmed how alone I already was. Granted, she “didn’t have to cut me off, make it like it never happened and that we were nothing. And I [didn’t] need [her] love, but [she treated] me like a stranger and that [felt] so rough. No, [she] didn’t have to stoop so low.”

So you guessed it. We’re not friends—she never put in the effort to maintain a friendship with me. Now don’t get me wrong—I don’t need her friendship. I’m adult enough to admit that it would have been nice to be friends because we actually did have a lot of good times together and we created some nice memories. But I tried! Just like during our relationship, she had no time for and no interest in me or my life. It was as if our relationship never existed. I guess in some ways, we’ve always been strangers, but now it’s just so much more obvious. It’s kind of a shame, but everything happens for the best. I guess she’ll just always be “somebody that I used to know.”