It is difficult to imagine the heartbreak that two people might experience from a dissolved marriage that wasn’t torn apart by a lack of love or lack of dedication, but by one spouse’s personal truth, just like in the movie Disobedience. A marriage can fail for so many reasons and more often than not it’s due to a lack of love, a lack of communication, or a lack of effort. People get divorced because they fall out of love and fall into blame—with a side of selfishness and resentment. But what happens when your otherwise happy marriage dissolves because you or your spouse is gay?

We’ve seen glimpses of this type of scenario play out over the years with celebrities like Portia De Rossi, Meredith Baxter, Cynthia Nixon, Wanda Sykes, Elton John, Little Richard, and in a similar fashion, Caitlyn Jenner. While not all of these people ended relationships to be with someone else, they were all in heterosexual marriages and then later had or have a same-sex partner. It’s so unfortunate that many people have had to live and continue to live closeted lives. People continue to make choices and decisions based on what they believe they are supposed to do instead of doing whatever it is they truly want to do.

Sometimes finding ourselves hurts others, but not finding ourselves hurts us the most. Be true to who you are as soon and as often as you possibly can. Life is too short to live with regret.