My wife and I travel together—a lot. It’s the one thing that we spend our money on each year that enriches our lives and means more to us than almost anything else. We love taking road trips through different parts of the United States. We’ve already been to just about every state with only a couple more to check off the list. There’s so much to see and do outside of the bustling metropolis we live in on the east coast, and so many wonderful people to meet out there. We especially love to get away from the rush of the big city to enjoy the slower pace out in the country, where people work hard and everyone seems to know each other’s names.
Planning our trips doesn’t involve much. We usually grab some books from AAA, jot down a few ideas about things to see and do that we absolutely don’t want to miss, and the rest is usually up in the air. We like to see where the road takes us—follow our instincts while also following the advice of proud locals who can suggest the hidden gems not to be missed that tour guides don’t tell you about. Equipped with only the essentials—some luggage, a camera, a thirst for adventure, and our open minds—we’ve been fortunate to have been to some of the most beautiful big cities and fabulous small towns our country has to offer. We’ve seen endless fields of sunflowers, heard the roar of rushing waterfalls, inhaled the natural scent of untouched forests, felt the chill on snow-capped mountains on hot summer days, and tasted the cuisine of local chefs across the land. There is no place we wouldn’t go, with one place even more extraordinary than the next.
If we’re heading to Rehoboth Beach in Delaware, Manhattan in New York, or New Hope in Pennsylvania, we know what to expect. We’ve been to those places plenty of times and are comfortable because of their LGBTQ-friendly reputations. When traveling to new areas, however, we tend to err on the side of caution. Unfortunately, there are still plenty of states, cities, and small towns that aren’t exactly known for making the LGBTQ community feel right at home and don’t roll out the welcome mat for us.
When traveling to new places, there is one factor we always research. We do our best to seek out LGBTQ-friendly towns, restaurants, and bars. We not only want to support our community, but we also enjoy seeing how these establishments and their patrons vary in different parts of the U.S. There have been cities and towns where we were totally comfortable walking down the street holding hands, while in other places, we knew that not only was being LGBTQ frowned upon, but it was practically forbidden. It’s unfortunate that was the norm in some areas, but risking our safety would never be worth trying to prove a point—especially not when we’re trying to have a good time on vacation. There’s no reason for anyone to have to deny who they are, but flaunting it isn’t always the best decision either.
No matter what a city or state’s reputation is concerning the LGBTQ community, my wife and I always give every place we visit a fair shot. We don’t assume that if a state is right smack in the middle of the Bible Belt that everyone in it is going to be homophobic. We usually try to feel out the people we talk to, particularly in situations like that, and have been excited to find that there are a lot more accepting and tolerant people out there than others might think. It’s always been our priority to see and do as much as we can and we never know what we might find unless we give it a chance. In the middle of an afternoon in Ann Arbor, Michigan, we shot pool and chatted with friendly locals at a fun and spacious gay bar that we just happened to come across while bar-hopping. On another trip to Minneapolis, Minnesota, we made small talk with a bartender that chatted us up as if he had known us for years. It was happy-hour in the crowded bar, but you wouldn’t know it based on how spread out the patrons were throughout the expansive indoor-outdoor bar. The straight-friendly gay bar was largely popular among twenty-somethings after a long day at work—a place where they could unwind and play games like corn hole with their gay besties while their dogs lapped water out of shared bowls on the front outdoor patio.
Hawaii was one of the most gay-friendly states we’ve visited. We spent time on the islands of Maui and Oahu for our honeymoon, constantly congratulated by strangers we met while wearing our matching white “Bride” tank tops. Newly married, we were not about to hide such a momentous occasion and we never felt like we had to. We were treated like royalty in the hotels on both islands and partied with locals and tourists at both a gay bar/club and a gay karaoke bar. At our favorite bar, a casual stomping ground for locals just around the corner from our hotel on Oahu, we spent the afternoon enjoying drinks and appetizers as the bartender schooled us about “Aloha,” reminding us how easy it is to love and welcome everyone when you live in one of the most gorgeous places in America. There’s just no time to complain or worry about what everyone else is doing when you’re surrounded by such beauty each day. We still have our matching “Spread the Aloha” shirts as a reminder of our journey and how kind and refreshingly accepting people like that bartender can be, even when you least expect it. Spread the Aloha—a timeless message that many people can learn from.